Neurodivergent-Affirming Couples Therapy in Seattle & WA

Your differences don’t have to come between you

You love each other, but sometimes it feels like you’re speaking entirely different languages.

As a couples therapist, I help mixed-neurotype couples better understand each other, navigate communication differences, and build a relationship where both partners feel seen, respected, and supported. Together, we’ll explore the patterns keeping you stuck and find ways to work with your differences rather than against each other.

My approach is neurodivergent-affirming, relational, and attachment-based. You don't need to change who you are to build a more connected relationship.

Reach out today

What Is a Mixed-Neurotype Relationship?

A mixed-neurotype relationship is a relationship in which partners have different neurotypes, ways of processing information, or experiences of the world. This may include a relationship between a neurodivergent partner and a neurotypical partner, or between two neurodivergent partners with different needs and traits.

For example, you might be navigating differences related to:

ADHD: Attention, time management, organization, task initiation, or emotional regulation.
Autism: Sensory needs, communication preferences, social expectations, or processing time.
Different processing styles: One partner may need to talk things through immediately, while the other needs time to reflect before responding.
Different sensory and emotional needs: One partner may seek closeness when overwhelmed, while the other needs quiet or space to regulate.
Late-diagnosed or self-identified neurodivergence: Understanding how a new awareness of neurodivergence changes the way you see yourselves and your relationship.

You don't need a formal diagnosis for these differences to be worth exploring. What matters is understanding how you each experience the world and how those experiences shape your relationship.

When You Love Each Other but Keep Getting Stuck

Mixed-neurotype couples often find themselves caught in patterns that neither partner knows how to change.

Maybe one of you feels like you’re always reminding, planning, or keeping track of everything. Maybe the other feels constantly criticized for forgetting things or not doing them the “right” way.

Over time, these moments can become about much more than the original disagreement.

You may start wondering whether your partner cares enough, whether you're asking for too much, or whether you'll ever truly understand each other.

You might recognize yourselves in some of these experiences:

Repeating the same arguments without finding lasting solutions.
Misunderstanding each other’s communication styles or intentions.
Getting caught in a cycle of one partner pursuing connection while the other withdraws.
Feeling overwhelmed by the mental load or criticized for struggling with daily tasks.
Hiding your needs or masking parts of yourself to avoid conflict.
Experiencing disconnection in affection, intimacy, or emotional closeness.

These struggles don't necessarily mean you're incompatible.

They may mean you need new ways to understand and support each other.

How Mixed-Neurotype Couples Therapy Can Help

Many couples come to therapy because they keep experiencing the same problems without knowing how to change them. Often, the issue isn't simply the topic of the argument — it's the pattern that develops between you.

Using an emotionally focused, attachment-based approach, we'll explore what happens beneath the surface of your conflicts. Together, we'll identify the cycle you get caught in and understand the hurt, fear, or unmet needs that may be driving it.
We'll explore how your communication and processing styles differ and develop strategies that support both partners. This may include more direct communication, additional processing time, or finding new ways to navigate difficult conversations.
From household responsibilities to scheduling and sensory needs, we'll work together to build routines and accommodations that feel realistic and sustainable for both of you.
You shouldn't have to hide your needs or mask who you are to maintain your relationship. We'll work toward a partnership where differences are understood, needs can be expressed openly, and both partners feel accepted.
Rather than seeing each other as the problem, you'll learn to approach challenges as a team. The goal isn't to eliminate every disagreement, but to navigate differences with greater understanding, flexibility, and care.

My Approach to Neurodivergent-Affirming Couples Therapy

Your relationship deserves to be understood on its own terms. There isn't one right way to communicate, experience emotions, or build a partnership.

My approach is informed by Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), attachment theory, trauma-informed care, and systems thinking. Together, we'll:

Look beneath the surface to understand the emotions and needs driving your relationship patterns.
Honor both partners' experiences without blaming either person or pathologizing neurodivergence.
Consider the bigger picture, including family experiences, cultural expectations, and societal pressures.
Adapt therapy to your needs through flexible communication, processing time, and other supportive strategies.
Build a collaborative partnership where both partners' needs, strengths, and differences have room to exist.

My goal is to help you create a relationship that works for the two of you, rather than trying to fit a predetermined idea of what a relationship should look like.

What to Expect From Therapy

We'll begin by understanding your relationship, the challenges you're facing, and what each of you hopes will change.

Together, we'll identify the patterns keeping you stuck and practice new ways of communicating, navigating conflict, and supporting each other. We'll move at a pace that respects both partners and adapt our work to your needs.

Progress might look like taking a break during conflict without losing connection, expressing your needs more openly, or understanding your partner's behavior with greater compassion.

Over time, these shifts can help your relationship feel less like a constant struggle and more like a partnership where you can face challenges together.

No. Mixed-neurotype couples therapy can be helpful when one partner is neurodivergent and the other is neurotypical, as well as when both partners are neurodivergent but have different traits, needs, or communication styles.
The focus is on understanding how your individual experiences interact within your relationship.
No. You don't need a formal diagnosis to explore neurodivergence-related differences in your relationship.
If one or both of you are questioning whether you may be neurodivergent, we can explore how your experiences, needs, and patterns affect your relationship without requiring a diagnostic label.
Couples therapy is not a substitute for a formal diagnostic assessment, but you can begin working on relationship concerns without one.
It can be discouraging to seek help and still feel misunderstood. Some couples find that traditional approaches don't adequately account for differences in communication, sensory processing, executive functioning, or emotional regulation.
A neurodivergent-affirming approach can offer a different perspective by considering how your neurotypes and relationship patterns interact, rather than focusing only on communication techniques or assigning responsibility to one partner.
Your previous experiences matter, and we'll take time to understand what did and didn't feel helpful.
Understanding neurodivergence can be an important part of the work, but the goal isn't to make one partner responsible for understanding or accommodating the other.
Both partners deserve to feel heard, respected, and supported. We'll explore each person's experience, identify where expectations or assumptions may be creating friction, and develop accommodations that consider both partners' needs.
This is a common source of resentment in relationships, particularly when one partner feels responsible for managing the household, initiating conversations, or keeping the relationship on track.
We'll explore what each partner is carrying, what may be getting in the way of shared responsibility, and how you can build systems that feel more balanced and sustainable.
The goal isn't necessarily to divide every task equally. It's to develop a shared understanding of responsibility, effort, and support that works for both of you.
Absolutely. You don't have to be on the verge of a breakup to benefit from therapy.
You might want to understand each other better, navigate a recent diagnosis, strengthen your communication, or create more supportive routines before resentment builds. Therapy can also help you navigate transitions that place new demands on your relationship.
Our first session will be a little more structured as I get to know you and your relationship. We'll talk about what brought you to therapy, understand the larger context of your relationship, discuss your goals, and begin identifying the patterns you'd like to change.
You won't be expected to have everything figured out. The first session is an opportunity for us to begin understanding your relationship and determine how I can best support you.
From there, I’ll then see both partners individually in the following sessions so I can better understand you individually. For the fourth session, we’ll all come back together and continue future sessions together.

Frequently Asked Questions

Ready to Understand Each Other Differently?

Starting couples therapy can feel vulnerable, especially if you've been struggling to talk about difficult things together. You don't have to know exactly what you need before reaching out.

1 )

Reach Out

Complete my inquiry form, and we'll schedule a free 20-minute consultation.

2 )

Let’s Talk

We'll discuss what's bringing you to therapy, answer any questions you have, and see whether we're a good fit.

3 )

Begin Therapy

If we decide to work together, we'll schedule your first appointment, complete the intake process, and begin moving toward the goals that matter most to you.